Wheels

So it has been a long time in the works; we knew that we need to get a new automobile, but we were afraid to admit that our next purchase is going to have to be more "family-oriented". To me, this means able to withstand crushed cheerios, repel puke and generally have the capability to cart around a kid and all of her schwag like I am a roadie for a KISS concert.

Now, we are not car people, but we both avoided conversation about the impending asteroid crashing through our atmosphere of perceived coolness. We always joked whenever we would see one of these Mom-mobiles with bumper stickers and safety shades and infant load times that would rival the geriatric buses to the casinos. Now it is our turn to buy something to handle a kid and two dogs and the every day support requirements of a 10-month old.

We had three choices that we considered:
SUV
Station Wagon
Mini Van

SUV
The popular choice these days. It comes equipped with standard car features, can ride like a car and does not have the pariah stigma of the other two choices. Can come with four-wheel drive for those tough suburban obstacles such as mall parking. The gas mileage is crap, but it lets you cram all kinds of kids and stuff into a large area and most importantly, you still look socially cool tooling around town.

Station Wagon
Somewhat old school. It is sort of dorky, but the clean lines of today's models are a far cry from yesteryear's ideal of tweed jackets with leather elbow patches. The station wagon is a little more utilitarian, not as popular, and still allows the user to retain some sense of coolness.

Mini-Van (Post-apocalyptic dorkmobile)
It is hard to admit, but this particular vehicle makes the most sense. It's is big, versatile and can transport kids, crap and the bitterness of forgotten youth if you fold down the rear seats. To me, mini vans signify the acceptance of being a parent. I am sure by kid #2 most people own a similar vehicle, but it seems with kid #1 most people think they can still be the hip and sophisticated people that they feel they are. (This is the same feeling that goes into remission and causes the mid-life convertible to bought around age 43)

After considering the two choices (Courtney wouldn't consider the third) we ended up with a nice station wagon to bridge the divide.

Back in the saddle

OK, we are home and feeling nearly fully functional. The last couple of days in China were hellacious. We were antsy to get out of there, the mold at the white swan hotel was ever-present and we were tired (yes, even C) of shopping. The area around the White Swan hotel is the biggest tourist trap of over-priced goods. It is like a Chinese Branson (Well, I have never been to Branson but a Chinese Branson sounded funny; especially that Asian guy that plays the fiddle--er violin)

(This picture is from the traditional 'red couch' at the White Swan. These were all the babies in our group)

We picked up some squeaky shoes, a Mao watch, a Mao lighter that plays the Chinese national anthem when opened and various other items for friends and family. We decided to follow the adoption community route of buying Maya 18 gifts from China to celebrate the day we met every year. I will detail these in another post some time, but they include everything from engraved chopsticks to pearl earrings to a Buddha statue with incense for when she is exploring her enlightenment when she is 16. Even though I belive most people this age already feel enlightened.

(We did not see one car seat and it was common for the kids to ride Britney Spears' style in most of the cars. This scooter was going about 30 MPH)

So we packed all of our stuff up in one full suitcase and had another one full of stinky clothes and pukey bibs and headed to the airport. The first flight was from Guangzhou to Hong Kong. Maya was awesome the whole way and the flight was uneventful. HK was absolutely beautiful. It looked somewhat like Hawaii, but from the airport you could see this huge metorpolis area. We said good bye to some people in our group and boarded the flight to Chicago.

This was a 14-hour flight flying back over the Arctic. Maya does not like to fly over the arctic. Leading up to this trip we were worried about this flight home. There were about 6 couples that had adopted that were boarding this flight. At the gate, as we all converged, you could see the thought process washing over the business travelers and the tourists returning home:

1. Wow look at all of those whiteys with the Asian babies
2. Hey, they are entering our gate
3. The flight is 14 hours
4. Babies don't like to fly 14 hours
5. NIMBY

There is a new movie coming out called 'Snakes on a Plane', I am sure that 'Babies on a Plane' could be a good sequel.

Maya did well at first. She was a little fussy, but hung in there. We were able to get her to sleep for about 4-5 hours, but she woke us as evil Maya. I have coined a special phrase for her when this happens based on the province in which she was born. When Happy Maya is deprived sleep, hasn't eaten and is sick of sitting she turns into: Hunanimal, the beast from the East.

She was inconsolable. We tried placating her with every tool in our limited parenting tool box. We really tried to be respectful of the people around us watching the movies or trying to sleep. Every time she cried for a couple of minutes we would stand up and walk to the back of the plane. I would bump people's arms and step on their feet as I went.

For the final four hours of the flight I was strapped into the Snugli (male-humilitation pouch) with a restless, groggy baby going in and out of slumber. The idea was that C and I were going to take shifts, but right when we were supposed to switch Maya dozed off. So I stood by the lavatories that about 45 people had been using for 10 hours in the back of the plane. Luckily, there were scores of people that had hundreds of questions about adoption even though my eyes were closed and I was methodically rocking my pissy child standing in such a position that the fourth and fifth quadrants of my back had become fused -- knowing that if I moved I would wake the baby.

Normally, I have no problem being a patient representative of the International Adoption community but after the 10th look of confusion and wonderment I jsut wanted to say:

"No, she is biological, Asian features skip a generation in my family lineage."

We landed at O'Hare and sleepwalked through customs. The three of us were directed over to immigration with our paperwork so that Maya could officially become an American citizen. With great pomp and circumstance the Immigration official welcomed us with open arms beaming with purple mountain majesty and waves of grain. Hundreds of years of American history were represented in his government issues uniform and the process of our daughter becoming one with the melting pot of the greatest civilization on earth went like this:

Agent: (Chicago accent) "Youse the Hoffmann's?"
K: "Yes."
Agent: "Here's ya stamp. Next."

Can't you just smell the majesty? With that one red-ink stamp our daughter became a US citizen. Now, we still have to apply for her passport and social security card, but based on her immigtation Visa she is now a US citizen. We are traveling to PA for a wedding next month so it will be interesting to see what happens when we try to use her Chinese passport.

After getting our luggage we pushed through the International terminal doors to be greeted by the beaming faces of my Mom, Ken and Rob. They were not interested in us at all, they obviously wanted meet the star of the show. By this point Maya was pretty slaphappy and gnerally in a good mood. Courtney and I had been up for about 32 hours straight and we were in total preservation mode.

They helped us with bags and we fought through traffic home.

Being gone for even two weeks yo notice a lot of the gradual changes that take place in the Spring. A lot of the plants had grown uncontrollably, construction had continued and there was a stack of junk mail the size of the Enron briefs. M,K & R really helped out picking up the house and being generally supportive. We can not thank them enough.

The first night was hell, after being up for so long Maya slept for a couple of hours. She woke up and freaked out. Totally understandable given the new crib, location and life. The first couple of days we zombied around the house. We both felt bad about not giving more attention to the family, but thankfully they understood. Being jet-lagged Maya was having a hard time adjusting, but when awaked she was what has become her normal happy self.

This is the second day in a row that she has slept through the night, meaning we have slept through the night. As I type this I can hear her cooing over the baby monitor and it is an amazing and fulfulling sound. Every day she sows us a new facet of her personality and she really is growing more and more into her own little person.

Fading

We are all feeling sinusy. The new hotel we are staying at is full of mold and the weather outside is a pair of 90s as in temp and humidity. It is like swimming in an armpit of a Bavarian Housefrau. We have been shopping like crazy and I have been popping Sudafed. All three of us are sick of living in one bedroom.

Maya actually gave C a couple of kisses and things are doing well. We introduced her to ice cream tonight (from a store associated with the hotel; a pint of freaking Hagen Dazz cost 90 Yuan which is about $11, for perspective our group dinner consisting of 8 separate dishes and unlimited beer and tea in a nice restaurant cost us 120 Yuan- assholes) and a restaurant we ate at served steamed egg which she had in the orphanage so she freaked and chowed down. I am sure I will get that one in the diaper tomorrow.

Sorry to be so infrequent with the posts. We are just buying time until we get out of here. We got our adoption Barbie that everyone in the adoption community freaks on, but so far the White Swan hotel has been a bust and we miss being in Changsha. Our little group has bonded and it is like the end of Summer camp and we are all going our separate ways; or even more apropos it is like the movie 'The Breakfast Club' and we are all wondering if we will talke to each other in the real world. Of course, here I am doing my best Anthony Michael Hall impression and writing the report for the group...

Blogger still won't let me upload picture and I am too busy to fuss with the video camera. We have most of our kickknack crap packed up and we are ready to et out of here. Mom and Ken and Rob are meeting us Thursday so we are looking forward to hanging.

Tomorrow is Maya's swearing in as an American citizen at the consulate; no pictures though and then we leave on Thursday. Our flight leave Guangzhou at 8:30 and then we leave Hong Kong at 12:45 PM getting into Chi-town around 3 or so. I am really hoping they didn't screw up and forget to book the extra seat we bought for Maya. I will have to make sure Maya projectile vomits on the person if they do.

I am not sure if I will update until I post a recap with pictures when we get home or even after K,D & R leave. Hope all is well with all of you and look for our continuing story in a couple of days.

Breakthrough

It is amazing what a couple of days can do to change attitudes and mindsets. I am proud and happy to report that I am a father to a happily giggling, animated and most important – huggy 9 month old. It is Friday and Maya has found us. Courtney picked her up out of the crib and she grabbed on to her as if to say “Wow, you are still here.” From that point on that day was really special. We could play with her and make her laugh and she was babbling uncontrollably. She even said her first word though it was in Chinese:

Maya: Gabagabagoo
Chinese to English dictionary: Pan-Asian military dynasty from the 3rd century or alternate meaning, slang for crapped oneself

So things have been well in China going into the weekend. We saw an academy from 1000 years ago and we had some more great food, but most importantly, my daughter smiled at me. I have formula dried up on my clothes, I have cleaned waste out of folds where I never knew people’s skin could ruffle and I have watered down my vocabulary to Blah Blahs, goo goos and da das, but for the one instance that there was actually recognition and acceptance in my daughter’s eyes, it was all worth it. It is amazing how a 9-month-old girl can reduce you to a literal babbling mess. I have known this kid for less than a week but she has become weaved into the fabric of my soul like I never though possible.

I step on toys in the shower, I freely share and describe the consistency, smell and weight of her bowel movements with other parents. Maya had a poopsplosion that almost ran over her diaper and it was a cause of celebration. What the hell is happening to me? Courtney and I now go to be at 9PM at night and tiptoe around this little person. We share a glass of beer in the bathroom so as not to disturb our little princess. It’s like she is the presidential nuclear football and we are constantly keeping her out of harm’s way.

When she is tired and cranky, she tends to revert back to the orphanage ways as a built-in self-defense mechanism, but al-in-all she has been rebounding tremendously. She has been releasing toys after a few seconds-dropping them on the floor (lucky me) and she has been screaming and laughing when she sees herself in the mirror. We still have a way to go with her. She is bonding with C more than me, which is to be expected, but we are taking it slowly.

Courtney has learned one word in Chinese that she has been repeating with abandon – SHOES or chiezen (hell I can’t pronounce it; don’t expect me to spell it). Maya has already had 4 pairs purchased for her. We are buying 18 presents for her to celebrate the coming anniversaries of our becoming a family. These gifts range from pearls to chopsticks to T-shirts and toys.

I wanted to provide an update of how we are doing. Tomorrow I will try and upload some video of Courtney getting mobbed by Chinese tourists at the academy wondering what the hell a whitey is doing with one of their nation’s daughters. All in all, we are doing much better and progressing quicker than I ever imagined. We wanted to thank you all for the great wishes, it means a lot to us that you have enjoyed our journey. The response has been so great that I am considering keeping this blog around so you can watch our little family grow.

(Well, blogger.com is being bitchy and not allowing me to upload pictures from here. I will try and add them tomorrow.)

Thursday

Today we went to an embroidery business and silk manufacturer. Dropped some cash on knickknacks and just kind of walked around. The embroidery was pretty interesting and painstakingly beautiful. We got to watch a group of women practice their craft which was pretty interesting. The picture of Mao below is actually all thread and thousands and thousands of stitches.

At the silk place we saw how cocoons were turned into silk which were turned into goods which were turned into purchases by C. Just another day. We are missing home, but still enjoying the sites. Maya was great as usual. She actually gave us a breakthrough day of smiles and a couple of laughs. We hit the playroom and let her slobber on the toys. We think she may break a tooth soon. We might try to hit the pool again tomorrow.

We have made great friends with a lot of our travelmates and went out to dinner with aq bunch of them tonight. They split us into two tables for spicy and non-spicy. The food here is amazing. It is only as weird as you want to make it. We have had sausage and eggs for breakfast and we have had glass noodles and sushi. The food tonight was spicy, spicy, but so good when washed down with a local beer.

We came back and gave Maya her bath and Court is tucked into bed with her. We read that if they sleep together it promotes a better level of bonding so I will be sleeping on the other single bed Ozzie and Harriet style.

Random Thoughts

We got here on Sunday and the Dolton Hotel is pretty amazing. About 80% of the Hunan adoptions come through this hotel to finish their paperwork. Like the hotel in Beijing this hotel only has single beds. Stiff-as-oak single beds. We checked in and our tour guide, Michelle (they all take English names to make us feel comfortable) took care of everything as usual. Changsha is comparable to a Houston or Miami. Pretty big, but not one of the major cities even though it has almost 10 million people equivalent to New York.

Our first destination was to a local store where we could buy water. Remember, we can’t drink the water or use ice or eat anything that does not have a shell like watermelon so we have to use bottled water. She took us on a trip to a store called Wacko where we purchased everything we needed including formula and were able to piss off the locals by invading their stores. As usual, we were a walking tourist attraction. An even slightly over-weight Chinese person is about as rare as a Chinese person in Des Moines.

What else can I say. Lays potato chips come in flavors such as Cucumber and Fried Chicken Wing (which we both purchased and is illustrated to the right; though kinds hard to see) Knock-offs of every major label brand are everywhere. My show junkie of a wife can pickup every popular shoe brand for $3. Beer is sold in vending machines. It is perfectly acceptable to spit in public even when surrounded by strangers. Chinese people have no sense of personal space and will get right in your face and check you out like it was no big thing. Chinese food here is so not like what it is in the states. I have actually been eating it everyday for a week and have only gotten a little tired of it. The cities we have seen are absolutely beautiful, urban and a little weird. Chinese traffic is polite but insane. There are parts to animals I never knew existed that could be turned into soup. Chinese laundry service rocks and they give more care to your old paid of ripped up boxers than your dry cleaners do for your favorite dress shirt.

China is host of the 2008 Olympics. These are the mascots and when their names are put together it spells out “Welcome to Beijing” Construction is crazy. There are cranes everywhere. A guy in the biz said that it is hard to get concrete in the US because everything is being routed here to get ready for the games.

Here are Chinese versions of current movies. They play the actual movies with English but have Chinese subtitles.

More observations later.

Side Excursions

So, Tuesday was a banner day. We have this brand-spanking fresh baby in the Snugli (or as I call it; the demasculation pouch) and our trip for the day was to a baby boutique and to China’s only Walmart. The boutique is one of those places where you go in and chuckle at the over-priced clothes and maybe, maybe find something cool that you can eke into a meager budget. In reality, you are just paying for the bag with the name when you pass the gift on to the recievevee.

Well the Yuan (Chinese currency) trades at 8 to 1 for the American dollar. So what costs 200 Yuan rings in at a cool $25 American. This knowledge is dangerous when loaded into my wife. It was like the Matrix, instead of loading helicopter instructions into her brain the currency table made her see shopping in a brand new light. A couple of outfits and toys and books later we had our purchases bagged up and ready to go.

On a side note, it is interesting how the Chinese handle lines. They don’t. No matter the store you buy things in when you want a purchase you give it to the staff and they give you a receipt. You take the receipt to the central cashier and pay for all of your items there and then bring back the slips to show that you have paid. The line to pay is non-existent. We were a group of quite Americans waiting politely in our queues as native Chinese would just walk in front of us and out tame ways. More than once we were butted in front of and just took it; after all we were strangers in a strange land. The whole time I was thinking try this on a Saturday afternoon at Target in downtown Chicago and see how long you last.

We got back on the bus and headed to the one and only Walmart. We piled out and were ready to show this pseudo-communist nation what being a Capitalist entailed. We were sheparded to the top floor and told we had to work our way down. We rode escalators to the entrance and were met by the customary greeter, Instead of the gray-haired AARP member you would expect we were “announced” as we walked into the store by a young and stylish (including the blue vest) woman that said things that I was unsure of to their meaning.

Again, as we walked into the store we were stared at with reckless abandon. I am sure it is not everyday that you see 20 Americans with 10 Chinese babies in Snuglies; all having different body types, hair color and mode of dress enter the store. C and I walked in and picked up a few items of clothes and some toys and basic necessities such as water and Chinese Hello Kitty knockoffs and of course wine and beer. Like page 232 of Dr. Spock states: “the best remedy for a long day of abandonment issues is a nice cold Tsing Tao beer”.

Walmart was, well Walmart.

You would think the story would end here at the aisle after aisle of mass-produced cheaply-created goods, but no my friends and gentle readers there is so much more. This was a super Walmart and it had what I can only describe as a deli. A deli so wonderful and exotic that words can not do it justice so I borrowed some pictures from a fellow traveler to try and explain the story.

Now imagine the zoo in St. Louis or Chicago or any other location. Think of the reptile house or the aquarium where couple take their kids on the weekend and feign interest to the 100 year-old turtle named Timmy. “Look kids, Timmy is older than your Grandfather. Oh, how precious and generation spanning!”

Turn the story to China and imagine Timmy in a small aquarium where you can purchase his organs and flippers and shell and that is China Walmart. Obviously, this is weird to us Americans, but this is culture, tradition and dinner to the majority of the Chinese. I came to the conclusion that this is something that I can not process, but I am OK with it for others.

The other big tank I saw was full of Bullfrogs. In the background, you can see the stained remanants of the glass from where these little guys were purchased. I saw a woman point to a bullfrog, like you would have a pineapple cored at Schnucks or Jewel and the attendant promptly cut it in half and harvested the specified organs and legs for the consumer. Yeah Walmart!

Not only were there turtles and frogs in abundance, but you could buy giant dried squid, minnow, living fish, eel, crabs, snakes and other creatures of the sea. Land animals were not immune as well. There was plenty pieces of poultry with heads, oxen, snake and rat to make a nice Tex-mex chili.

All in all, it was freakishly disturbing, pungent and cool as hell. Seriously, there is a whole separate supply chain for Walmart that you may have never wanted to imagine. I am so glad I saw it. The fruit section was equally as intense with fruits and legumes that I never even knew existed.

We checked out to stares and wonderings of many people. At this point our agency had given us a sign to wear around our necks stating that we were there adopting a baby and pumping dollars into the Chinese economy. Most people had no problem coming up to us and grabbing our sign and reading it. They, male and female, would then touch and caress our kids in such away as to generate an Amber alert back in the US. We have become accustomed to this and now expect it every time we are in public..

We checked out and waited for the rest of our group. C bought a pair of $15 sunglasses in a boutique adjacent to Walmart. The locals freaked and treated her like she was Oprah giving her a matching case while two women waited on her. Again, $15 to us is 120 Yuan to them.
This was a great experience and part of a different culture I was really hoping to see. Now excuse me, I have some ostrich jerky to eat.

Recap

It has been three days now and you are probably wondering where the hell the updates have been. Let me say it has been a very crazy 72 hours ever since we received Maya. We both wanted to thank everyone for all of their great comments it is great to see such support.

Well, I am assuming you have seen the video; so you can sort of see what we went through at the actual moment of meeting her. That morning we were obviously super nervous. C actually was picking up the room after herself which was a true sign of nervousness on her part and I had three 3-foot pterodactyls perched in my gut and occasionally flapping their wings.

We, a group of about 20, boarded the bus and made our way through early morning traffic. When we get on the bus we are treated like rock stars everone around stops and stares and takes pictures of us. I feel like the 90s version of Van Halen (not rock star enough to be the Diamond Dave version, but close enough). It is pretty amazing the tension and anticipation on the bus. Everyone has all of this baby gear, but no baby.

Up the stairs and intot the government affairs room we were ushered and all of the babies were waiting with members of the orphanage. We lined up and all tried to pick out which one was Maya, but were unable. One family in our group is of Chinese ancestry and the father of a person named Jeff went up to the caregivers and asn asked which baby was which according to their Chinese names. About 30 seconds after that we were called over to show our passports and were handed Maya. As you could see in the video, we were idiots. I do not remember the whole sequence of events.

We all oohed and ahed for a while before we were loaded back on the bus and sheparded to the hotel for a couple of hours before we went back to do the paperwork in the afternoon. I will be hinest with you, we were scared when we received Maya because something seemed just a little off. She was indifferent to everything and sort of sat there with her tongue sticking out.

Neither one of us said anything, both trying to keep an honest front; but we were both pretty concerned about our daughter. Her motor functions seemed good, her hearing, her sight, everything seemed to check out, but that was part of the problem she seemed "checked out" herself.

At 1 o'clock I left Court to go to a hotel conference room to begin the preliminary paperwork. At this point we were shown the note that her biological Mom left with her and we were given one original item of clothing that was placed in the box in which she was abandoned. We had until 3 to decide whether or not we were going to keep her. Of course we were going to, but like I said before; we were both a little concerned.

We packed up and headed back to the civil affairs office on edge. We completed the paperwork which included a Maya footprint and K&C thumbprints. Each station involved signing our names, providing an envelope and providing a gift-- which we did. We paid the final notarization fee and now in China's eyes Maya is officially our daughter.

We left the office and came back to the hotel still freaking out about everything in general. Maya was still aloof and showed no interest in us or anything around her. We went to dinner with some of the other families and talked about everything we were experiencing. That night was pretty uneventful, she woke up at 2 like the orphanage said she would and we gave her a bottle and put her back to sleep without issue.

The next day we started noticing big-time attachment issue cues. She would not look at us in the eyes; if we tried to look her in the face she would scream uncontrollably. She would hold on and not let go of items we put in her hands which is apparently a symptom hoarding in institutionalized kids. Overall she was a happy baby, rarely cried and just sort of sat there entertaining herself. She would rather be by herself in the crib than with us. This still is a part of the problem.

From what we have read and from what some other people have told us is that institutionalized kids are fighting for the attention of a handful of workers. The loudest and most persistent kids get the most attention and therefore develop quicker. Maya was pretty complacent so we are thinking that she soothed herself to sleep often in te first months of her life. Again, this is armchair child psychology, but appears to fit the bill.

On Tuesday we went to a baby boutique and Chinese Walmart. (I will detail our excursions in another post) Maya was hooked into the demasculation pouch as we walked around. Again, she was a quiet and seemingly happy baby, but paid more interest to the teething toy than she did us. We still hadn't had a smile, a laugh or even a poop. She just kind of hung out with us as we chauffered her around.

On Wednesday it was still more of the same. We stayed in that day because she was still having a really hard time. Every time we look at her she would go into a fit of rage. We fed her, and bathed her and played with her but she still did not really acknowledge our existence. Going into this whole adoption, we knew that there could be a chance that she may be stunted in her development; we read about it and talked about it but it still has taken us by surprise.

Today, Thursday, was somewhat of a breakthrough day for us Maya gave us a boatload full of smiles and even a couple of giggles and seems to be reacting better to our care. She missed her morning nap and skimmed her afternoon one so she was very grumpy and we spent the afternoon consoling her as she raged with arched-back crying. I never realized how heart breaking this type of crying is until you hold this little 17# miracle in your hands and feel her taut like a bowstring and screaming with such abandon that it tears your soul into little pieces. The strength and brutality of these little lung screams is so intense and so crippling that I can only hope they are cleansing in their fervor.

I realized today how much I love my little daughter and how much more I love my wife. We have made some progress in the abandoment issue front, but to to see how C held her through torrent after wave after reckless abandon coming from her our little girl's heart was quite amazing. My wife is an excellent mother. She has been on the job for less than a handful of days but she has taken things in stride and has been trying to make everything fluid and stable as she can for Maya.

I wish I could wrap up this post by saying that everything is great and we are bonded and perfectly attached. But we are not, we have a lot of work to do, more than we may have expected, but we will move on. It is amazing the things that can come out of pure love. At the core of your system and relationship with a child there is a connection that is inherently unseverable and pure in its nature. Until this week I have never fully inderstood the lengths a parent will go through for their child to make sure that he/she is OK. The worry, the hope, the fears of live are always surmountable if their is base love.

We have a long way to go and I know the travel will be rough, but I know I am ready and with the love of C we will do this and Maya, Courtney and I will all be better people for it. I/we can not even convey how much your warm wishes mean to us. China is an amazing place full of many great things but we are ready to come home to our family and friends and the support that is there. Sorry for going into cheese mode, but it has been a hectic and emotionally draining week for the three of us.

Maya Video

I am not sure if this is viewable with both sound and video. Someone please let me know via E-mail or in the comments. Thanks!

Maya Hoffmann

Changsha

Last night we tossed and turned. Today was a travel day. We are now in Changsha in Hunan province. The hotel here is pretty amazing and the room is on a non-smoking floor. Our entire group and a couple of other people we have seen are all situated here. It appears that the hotel is trying to gain slice of the adoption business pie. We are on the 31st floor and the 30th floor is a playroom. We have seen other non-Chinese-Nationals with Chinese babies in the hotel and you could feel the collective group swoon when they came by. As I type this we are about 19 hours away from meeting our little one. When we walked into our room we say this:

Yes, we both did a double-take. While the bags were being rounded up we headed downstairs for lunch and had a burger and some pasta. I love Chinese food and I have been eating it non-stop but I feel as we get closer to Maya we have been yearning for more comfort food. Damn Nesting mode.

We are about to walk around the city with our group before we have a final dinner with all of the other couples. We are trying to get a tour of the orphanage but it does not look like it is going to be possible. We have learned that Hunan is one of the poorest provinces in China. A lot of the other kids that are adopted are given care by foster families before being adopted. Our Hunan babies at the You Xian orphanage are not so lucky and I fear that because of this Maya may have more bonding and attachment issues, but we will see.

At about 9PM in Chicago we will meet Maya. I hope you all will be thinking about us at this time. When you get up in the morning hopefully we will have pictures and possibly video (if I can figure out the camera). Wish us luck, because after the next entry we should be three!

The other pictures are of a guy we saw on the street fixing an electrical line (poster boy for OSHA) and the other one is the view from our hotel window.

Field Trip Day

One thing I forgot to say about flying here was that we flew through the North Pole. It was really interesting to see the snow formations. Everything was so desolate and peaceful.

Yesterday was tour day in Beijing. We started off in Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. Stepping off the bus we were swarmed and hustled by the locals starting off asking 400 Yuan ($50) for an “official” 2008 Beijing Olympics baseball hat.

We walked around and saw the big picture of Mao that is repainted every year. We had a lot of Chinese people taking pictures of our group. It really is funny how much we stand out; not just because we are mostly a bunch of whiteys, but because of the way we are dressed and our mannerisms. I saw a handful of people snapping pictures and a couple of people using video cameras.

The square was mobbed with people want to go inside to see Mao in the mausoleum. We were approached quite often with people selling various goods, but we were told to just ignore them and keep on walking which we did for the most part. The vendors were very persistent and would follow us for 4-5 minutes continuously pitching us.

We then walked into the Forbidden City which is a series of courtyards and temples where the emperor lived. The first couple of chambers were interesting and ornate, but by the 7th or so near identical space it became pretty redundant. One nice thing about being tall in China is that I can stand over the crow somewhat. From a couple of instances that I have observed the people tend to push and get shovy in crowds. It is all done in a very polite manner; but if this was tried in the States I am sure people would be saying things and confronting them a lot more. I was able to take the picture below by standing in the middle of the crowd and just planting my feet and raising my arm up.

After the Forbidden City we took a bus to the Friendship store where we had lunch and browsed through all of the items. This place is a state-sponsored (I believe) store that sells all the things anyone would want to take home from China including tea, rugs, figurines and 5-foot-tall terra cotta soldier statues.

We headed off to tour the Great Wall next. The Wall itself was pretty amazing and afforded us a nice view of the country-side. We made it up about 2/3 of the way and agreed that it was not going to be worth it to go all the way and have to come back down. The steps ranged from 6” to about 24” in height. Both of had hearts that were pounding on the way up and legs that were shaking on the way back down. It was a well-kept tourist section of the Wall, but it provided a good glimpse at the magnitude of the whole structure.


I finally used my first squat toilet, well, used it like a urinal. It really is no big deal. Coming down from our long journey off the wall, C had to go and I can't imagine the pain she must have felt when trying to bend down.

After all of the horror stories and wives’ tales; China is not as bad as everyone thinks. Sure, we can’t drink the water eat fruit that does not have to be peeled or have ice in anything; but I have not found it to be true that we have to use holes in the ground for the bathroom, that there are dead animals hanging everywhere and as a whole is a scary place. Let me caveat this by the fact that we have only been doing tourist things in a group, in a controlled environment but all in all China is not as bad as people may think for visiting.

The people, the buildings and the general mentality that I have come across (again, I have been here 4 whole days) is very group like. People tend to dress alike and both cities I have observed are functional and practical instead of being ostentatious and attention-seeking. If the US is a peacock China seems to be your common backyard brown squirrel.

Saturday Morning Update

Hello from the future. We slept well getting up at about 4 so we are almost back on our sleep schedule.

Had a weird dream last night. I went outside from our hotel in China to see this beautiful little park that was well manicured and full of picnic benches. It was coordinate off by a string of Chinese lanterns and at the center of this location was a trailer that served food in bowls and on sticks. All of the families were eating contently. The trailer was set like a 50s diner and had Bill Haley's "Rock Around the Clock" blaring from a tinny speaker. The two Chinese women serving as waitresses were wearing poodle skirts --no roller skates though.

I walked into the park and I was carrying a Chinese to English dictionary and deciphered the name of the restaurant to mean:

"Animals that Americans keep as pets"

The last thing I remember was running around yelling: "Soylent green is People!"

And yes, I feel stupid for having such stereotypical dreams about China. The food is definitely exotic by most American tastes but they eat their U-Don Noodles with two chopsticks just like us.

Other musings include everyday items and their Chinese equivalents:

We were rushing through the airport and I grabbed a bottle of what I thought was water for the bus ride to the hotel. I opened it and took a long swig and realized it was way too sweet to be water. What I grabbed was a bottle of Gatorade-equivalent.


Yes, that is Pocari sweat I am not sure what a Pocari is, but it produces some decent juice and I now feel like I have my full day's supply of Ions. A frustrating part of Internet access is that many sites are not accessible here. I can publish these posts for you all to read, but I have no idea how they look when posted. Only by the comments left yesterday on the blog I know that it actually made it out there. The link was supposed to be to a Wikipedia article on the sports drink, but I am unable to access it.

Bare with me if it looks funny or the formatting is wrong, I am flying somewhat blindly. It should be an adventure to see if I can get the video working later. Comments that are left are moderated by me before they go on the site. This is so people don't clutter it up with spam ads and plus I am notified via E-mail when someone leaves something so I can check it out right away. I am having problems accessing this now, but they are E-mailed to us as they are left and are much appreciated.

This next picture is of beverages in the fridge:

















That is Sprite, Coke and Diet Coke. Again, no major revelation but it is interesting to see how items are presented differently. It is nice to place the clueless tourist for once. I snicker at some of the things people take pictures of in Chicago and here is me taking pictures of soda cans.

One of the most interesting things about these can is the tops:


That's right, old-school pull tabs.

Well, we are waiting for the breakfast buffet to open at 6:30 and then our tour leaves at 8:30 to Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. Our guides tell us we will be gone all day so it should be interesting.

Like I incoherently said in my entry yesterday we are just trying to get out arms around another country but our thoughts are drifting to Maya in two days.

In Beijing

Well we made it. We have had 5 hours of sleep in the last 48, but we are here. It is a little after 7PM here (6 in Chicago) and HBO is playing some old Johnny Depp movie with Chinese subtitles. The flight wasn't that bad, all of the monitors were not working so there was no movie. We made it through customs without a issue and we were debriefed at the hotel for our weekend happenings.

We both are mainly freaking on being in another continent and haven't even gotten around to the fact that we will be parents in a couple of days. Tomorrow is the big tour day; seeing the wall and so forth. We had dinner in the hotel and it was interesting to see how in their cuisine they use every beak, neck and part imaginable.

We went out searching for drinking water earlier (The water is needed for brushing out teeth and day to day consumption.) and decided to sit down and people watch by a bus station. As expected, we were actually the people that came to be watched. It is very interesting to stick out like a sore thumb and not look like the majority. We walked around a little bit and came back to the hotel for dinner.

Our room is nice. It is actually two double beds. The room smells like the day after the world series of Poker. The ghost of chain smokers past hangs in the air and on the sheets and permeates everything in here. We are tired so it doesn't matter. The beds are are rock hard and sit low to the ground. I am just tall enough to hand off the end, not fit in the shower without ducking and overall feel like I am at some cruel McPlayland where everything is just too small.

C is in the shower right now and I am finioshing up so that we can go to bed and hopefully be on a normal sleep schedule by over-extending ourselves today.

More tomorrow if time allows.

One day to go

Well, it is almost that time. We are packed from the most part and we are both trying to wrap up loose ends before we get out of here. Our final itinerary was mailed to us yesterday morning. I procured all of the new bills we need for the trip and we are silently entering into general freak-out mode.

I have spoken (E-mail) with people who are in China right now and it is hot and shirt-sticking-to-your-back humid. My hair will be doing the flip in all the pictures we upload. Hopefully, we will get time everyday to let you watch the journey as it unfolds. C went to the doctor today and she has an ear infection. She was given drops but we are going to try ear candles, heard they work well. It is silent right now; I’ve been starting to say my good byes but the reality of our situation hasn’t completely implanted itself to my head. It is a low hum, like Nyquil. My sister called me today; which was nice, people keep asking if we are ready; I don’t think we ever were or ever will be. C’s work people through her a little impromptu get-together on Monday downtown. Things are moving along…

I am really hopinf that we will get to see the hospital where Maya was actually left. Also, we are hoping that the note she was left with will be given to us at the orphanage or when we receive her. Last week we were mailed her finding ad. In China when a baby is found abandoned the orphanage is required to post a description and picture of her when found. This has given us a picture of her when she is about 3-5 days old. I will post it and the translation of the ad when I get a chance.

I’ve included links to the hotel and other sites where possible. While we are in China we will be 13 hours ahead of CDT.

Beijing
Plaza Hotel
Phone: 0086-10-67353366

Date
Time
Events
05.12
2:25pm Pick up Family #5 Hoffmann (2) with UA851 and send to Plaza Hotel
05.13
8:30am Sightseeing Tour to the Great Wall, Forbidden City and Tian An Men Square
05.14
7:55am Families fly to Changsha with CA1343

Changsha
Dolton Hotel (The English link seems to be out of commision)
Phone:011-86-0731-4168888

05.15
10:00am Meet babies at Civil Affairs. Do relevant Paperwork.
05.16
10:00am Shopping for babies
05.17
9:30am Sightseeing tour to YueLu Academy
05.18
9:30am Sightseeing tour to Countryside.
05.19
3:30pm Get passport and Do INS Form
05.20
9:30am Sightseeing tour to a museum
05.21
8:10am All fly to GZ with CZ3375

Guangzhou
White Swan Hotel
Phone: 011-86-20-81886968

05.21
9:30am Pick up family with CZ3375, and send to WS hotel.
05.22
10:00am Taking babies’ visa picture and doing medical examination for the babies. Sightseeing tour to Chen families’ temple in the afternoon.
05.23
9:00am Guide goes to American Consulate to hand in families’ documents.
05.24
3:00pm Families go to American Consulate for interview and get visa in the afternoon.
05.25
8:25am Hoffmann family to Hong Kong to Chicago

MulchMania

So I had this really long post all queued up yesterday and of course the hosting site lost it so here I am starting over. It really is painful to have to rehash. I have been horribly busy lately and I do mean the term horribly just because between work and home and getting ready to travel I have not had an opportunity to take a sustained breath much less update everyone else on what we have been doing. I have had Journey to Maya (Pt III) written and ready for editing for some time; hopefully it will simmer in its own juices and be ready to go before we leave.

For starters:

5/11 Chicago/Beijing UA851 Lv. 1230P, Ar. 225P on 5/12
5/25 Hong Kong/Chicago UA896 Lv. 1245P, Ar. 222P

That's right, hooked up and logged in. The flight is 13 hours long, and they are both direct. We have a short jump from Guanzhou to Hong Kong on the 25th, but then we settle in for the long flight home. C has gotten almost everything packed for Maya and we will finish ourselves this coming weekend.

An exciting aspect of our homecoming is that my Mom, my step dad and brother Rob are all coming up to help us when we get back. They are amazing for meeting us at the airport and helping us transition to parenthood.

So this past weekend; instead of lugging 60 bags of mulch out of Home Depot; we decided to finish our front and back yard landscaping by having mulch dumped in our driveway and we would wheelbarrow it to where it was needed and dump. So, I am on the phone with the Mulchwoman and she starts asking me all of these questions:

MW: So how much do you need?
K: Uh, a backyard's worth?
MW: Seriously?
K: Do you measure it in...uh...wheelbarrows?
MW: No, sweetie, it is in cubic yards

OK, picture yourself male talking about male things (math and dirt) and tell me you would not be intimidated not knowing the answer. Now, think about your back yard, cut it down to about 20% coverage 2 inches deep and then convert that mental picture into a cubic yard.

So, like most guys (and women) in this situation I came up with the obvious response without a instant of hesitation:

K: OK, how much does it cost?
MW: Which one?
K: The backyard stuff.
MW: Have you done this before?
K: No, I just want mulch.
MW: Well we have the red, brown, gold, sticks, half blend, premium blend, clay...
K: Hmmm. That is interesting, all those choices. What is the premium blend?
MW: That's a semi-fine brown texture perfect for edging and general purpose gardening.

Now, this woman was getting way into the description. I could just picture her at home in her climate-controlled mulch room with her aged oak and cypress barklets (yes, that is a mulch term) creating a gentle bed for slumber while the musty vapors of aroma hang like pinecones in mountain tree stand.

So, as with many things I do not understand I made the decision based on price knowing that I can convince myself that I like it and I ended up getting 8 cubic yards.

Mulchwoman's instructions were to put a tarp out on the driveway for the drop zone. I did as she instructed and went to work. C and I take the commuter train downtown most days. That night we came home and were walking toward the house when we could smell the premium richness of Mulchwoman's personal stash before we saw it.

We turned the corner and the tarp was gone. It was completely covered in an avalanche of tree dumpings. It looked like tree around the driveway vomited on our asphalt. NOw, trust me on this, unless you are opening your own state park consisting of miles and miles of trails, you do not need 8 yards of mulch. From what I remember of the tarp it now looked like a postage stamp compared to the mound.

The best part? Yours truly put the tarp for the "drop zone" right behind our car, yes our only car. The car that does not have four-wheel drive capability to go over or a scooter-sized footprint to get around it. It was completely mulched in.

So, didn't think about it that night or the fact that we were due up in Wisconsin that afternoon to see friend’s of ours. The next morning I pulled the snow shovel out from the shed. (Actually it was still sitting on the back porch, I know it’s now May, we strive to keep a little bit of Cape Girardeau wherever we go) I tried to scoop it up, but it wasn't really cooperating. Mulch doesn't really move like snow, it does o nt compress as cleanly or want to be lifted easily. It's like when you are sitting at the dinner table and you try to use your knife to pick up the wine bottle.

After a couple of hours I had made a little progress but not much. My next-door neighbor is a super brain and a mechanical genius that used to be an engineer. His back deck is actually on a cantilever system so he can lift half of his back porch up to get into his basement. (This is the same guy that I have the Xmas light wars with every year -he doesn't know we are competing)

The neighbor brought over a pitchfork. I thought these only existed in movies where they are chasing monsters like Frankenstein or Dick Cheney. He brought it over and of course I refused thinking there is no way this could be better than my snow shovel. He knows what he is doing, he did the siding by himself on his own house. I refused it a second time as required by the manly code but quickly agreed to the third offer. He gave me the tool and walked away shaking his head; I tried to convince myself that he must have water in his ear.

Well the pitchfork sank into the pile and made the work twice as fast. I was able to get the pile down to only covering half the driveway and with a little effort could squeeze the car out. By the end of the day I had calluses all over my hand and I never wanted to pitchfork anything ever again.

We went up to Wisconsin and had a great time hanging out with friends, drinking New Glarus beer and playing with the Test Kid. When someone really knows what they are doing with BBQ, it is so phenomenal. We had ribs that had been smoking for 4-5 hours. She is pregnant and he was on sinus medicine so we actually went to bed at a decent hour. We got up and left fairly early stopping for groceries on the way home; something to eat to fuel me through the pile.

The second problem with the mulch is that me, being the super genius that I am, made the drop zone right in the middle of the driveway. In my bravado I thought it would be no problem to knock this out over the weekend. C's Dad and a friend of the family both park in our driveway during the week and walk to the train station. My pile’s position only left room for one person to park. I was duty bound to finish this before the day was over.

Then it started to rain.

Wet mulch is ungodly. It should serve as a literary metaphor to describe other unfortunate events:

She collapsed in his arms, breathless; bosom heaving waiting for his sweet lips to kiss hers and quench her thirst and tempered desire with one soft caress. He hesitated and spoke:
"Damn, woman, you are as heavy as wet mulch, but you have nice barklets."

For the next couple of hours, in the rain, I forked mulch into the wheelbarrow, pushed it 30 feet into the back yard and dumped it. I repeated this process about 42 times until I ended up with the pile below. In this picture you can see the mulch and see our backyard. Keep in mind I have already used about half the pile and only have about 1/3 of the yard to go.

I am open for suggestions for what to do with the rest; the more creative the better. I am thinking about building a huge nest in the backyard and creating some paper machie eggs to freak out the people on the train as they go by. Well, said train is pulling into the station and I need to get the yard ready for round two of Mulchmania.