Before and After

You say it's your birthday....

I’ve been doing a little navel gazing during the past couple of days; not the typical free-time, transcendental sort of pondering, but literally looking at Maya’s belly button. It is hard to believe that this little flap of folded skin nurtured her for 9 months. Normally, I write my more introspective entries in another location, but I wanted to copy and paste this here.

Today is Maya’s birthday and both Courtney and I have thoughts that drift to Maya’s birth mother. A year ago today this unknown woman in a small Chinese village gave birth to our amazing little girl. Her navel tells the story of the connection she had with this woman half a world away. She is the woman that carried her to term, possibly hiding her, possibly torn by thoughts of giving her up or even thoughts at one point of aborting her under the heavy constraints of China’s idea for family practice.

On this special day how can we not be so thankful that she made this unbelievably hard decision to give her another life. This woman, this saint, kept Maya for two days before leaving her in front of the You Xian Hospital with formula, a change of clothes and a note that is our only tangible connection; besides her belly button.

What happened during these two days? How torn was she on the choice she had to make. Did she have family pressure? Did she name her? When she left her in the little bundle outside the hospital did she hover and wait to make sure someone picked her up? One year ago today May was born into this world in a small village in China to a woman that loved her so much to bring her into this world and loved her enough to give her up in the hope that she will have a better life.

My mother taught me that a way to honor those in our lives that are no longer with us is to burn a candle in their absence. It is a small token of appreciation and remembrance but it is something that we feel obliged to do. We will never forget the woman that gave so much of herself, so unselfishly, to provide us with a daughter. Tonight we plan on burning two candles; one on the cake we will soon be pulling out of Maya’s hair and wiping out of her neck folds and there will be one burning silently on the table as a beacon directed a world away providing thanks for the best gift we will ever receive.